Are you my Mr. E?

no he’s not someone new… He’s actually someone from the past. Today I was so bored that I decided to read through some of my mail from an old retired mailbox. I came across a string of email from this guy from waaay back. It was a funny and pretty long story.

The time I met him, I was infatuated over his best friend, which is why I didn’t pay much mind to him, despite his efforts, which now leaves me wondering what if. Now I miss how he was so sweet to me, and how he expressed his feelings to me for quite a while before finally giving up. He had to move out of the country for work and I haven’t seen him for the longest time. It came to a point, a year after he left when I had him pose as my ex so i could get out of this illegal relationship with a guy who already had a girlfriend. yeah i know, sounds like a familiar story, but this one only had ONE other girlfriend, he’s not the same guy. Anyway, when I put him up to that, i think he was well over me already but it amused him that we never WERE and now he was an EX. I don’t remember exactly why i picked HIM but I guess part of it was because I missed him. I missed how special and loved he made me feel. I still do. I don’t know if I really did mean anything to him. And right now, and this is not the first time i felt it, I’m really wondering what if. But i know it’s never going to happen. He’s now married and happy.

But reading through all the email he sent, I couldn’t believe how insensitive I was to how much a person could feel towards another.  I think there hasn’t been any other guy who expressed so much of his feelings for me. He was one great catch that I should kick myself for not keeping.

Which made me think further, maybe my Mr. E had coming knocking on my back door, but i was too busy with other things, that i didn’t notice. *sigh* I’m really on depro mode right now.

So like I was saying, I’ve been frequently going out with Mr. Friendzone everyday since the weekend that passed, and well, I needed a break. Yikes. Now I know how Mr. Perfect must have felt, and that was 1 MONTH of going out with me. Geez, is an apology in order?

So what did I do to think of myself as evil? Well, I exiled my mobile somewhere where she can’t be found, thereby ignoring any calls or SMSes of invitations to default dinner plans.

Thing is, I forgot to put it on silent mode. *Ring ring… ring ring… ring ring…* Well you get the picture. When the ringing finally stopped, I got my phone and read 1 new message that obviously came from him, as expected. And it was a “meet you at ****, *** o’clock.” type of a message. Uh, whatever happened to, “hey do you have dinner plans?”. It was more of a “I know you have no other friends so let’s eat at ****” kind of an invitation, which is, well, insulting.

Now I’m wondering whether I’d be this pissed if I hadn’t read that forbidden message. I dunno, I can’t recall any of my friends talking to me like that back home *sigh*.

On a different page, Mr. LDBT IM’d me this afternoon. I must admit I miss him. And because whatever fantasies I have for him have no hope of getting fulfilled because of the vast body of water that’s between us, I let down my guard more in our conversation. Goes without saying, the conversation got a bit steamy. I CAN’T HELP IT! He’s just too tempting for me, I’m SO glad he’s in a different country. And he kept teasing, and I kept teasing. Dammit. He’s probably the hardest temptation I have yet to overcome (no pun intended). I just hope I don’t get into a situation where I have to choose, at least not soon. I am evil.

In this new environment, Mr. friendzone is about the closest thing I have to an old friend, so I’ve been spending quite a considerable amount of time with him lately. Maybe I have yet to find my new set of friends, but until that happens, I have only mr. friendzone to go out and have dinner with. So, as much as i like him as a person, we’re definitely better off as friends. I’ve been through a number of guys and i can tell when he’s trying to make a move on me. Mr. friendzone didn’t make it that difficult to guess either. I don’t want to delve into this much mainly because this is a one way thing right now. I say right now, because i USED TO have a crush on this guy, waaaaaay way back. So. That’s it for now. :p