the machine.
I met mr. machine at a party 2 months ago. He worked with one of my business partners and got introduced. We also got really drunk and found out that we lived near each other so we decided to share a cab home. Intoxicated as we were, you probably can guess what happened next.
I’ve never done anything like that before, go home with a man that I just met at a bar after overdosing on alcohol. It was a wild night though. It was the first time I ever heard of the 8:1 rule, and I wasn’t complaining. I was overwhelmed though.
He had SMS’d me a few times after but I didn’t want to seem too eager to reply. Part of it is because I knew that if i did, something will definitely become of it, and I already had this weird thing going on with Mr. Grant and I was still very much in love with Mr. Experience. I didn’t want yet another complication in my life. Not yet.
A month ago, I was feeling down and just wanted to be with someone. One night in particular, Mr. Grant wasn’t free so I sms’d him if he was up to buying me that coffee he had owed me, and whether he would upgrade it to a beer. I went over to his place and we were pretty much all over each other again. The sex was even better than the first time.
It’s been a month since i’ve been seeing him and I’ve since broken it off with Mr. Grant as well. There was a time when he asked for a break though. We’d been seeing each other almost everyday and it seemed like he was having trouble getting work done. I guess I was choking him, and being too comfortable with him that i had stopped thinking about him and whether he was starting to become sick of me. I was a bit caught off guard because i didn’t feel what he was feeling and I guess I lost my place.
A few days later, he asked if i would go out to dinner with him and we did. We started off the night at a rooftop bar where we had a quick drink. after that he took me to dinner at a nice rooftop restaurant, with nice food, nice ambiance and nice music. Our first date. It was my first time being taken out to a nice dinner like that, and it felt nice. Of course, we ended up back in his house and doing even better than the last time. Since then, things have been better. And now, I’ve started to become a bit scared. I’m scared of falling in love with him. I’m applying for another job out of the country, which will mean that I might not be here for much longer.
why does it seem like i keep getting myself into lose-lose situations.. 
