Are you my Mr. E?

Is it something that we need to be ashamed about? Should I be bothered that I am harboring feelings of jealousy towards one of my boyfriend’s friends.

Apparently, she just broke up with her boyfriend recently, and because of that, she’s been calling my boyfriend at past midnight for a few consecutive days now.

Okay, so the girl needs cheering up. Fine. Let me try to put myself in her shoes. Would I be doing the same thing? I’m trying to think about a really close guy friend who has a girlfriend. I can’t think of any. Most of my close guy friends were always single. And when they get attached, things usually fade away. Personally, I understand what it’s like to be in a relationship and I wouldn’t want to impose a priority on myself. Maybe I just didn’t have a friendship that is like theirs, I don’t know.

Now my question is, do I have the right to feel bad about this? Or am I being too possessive and obsessive?

I can tell you one thing, it’s not the greatest feeling in the world. I should try to rid myself of these feelings. I don’t think it’s right. They’ve been friends long before I came into his life and so I guess she has some rights over him. Maybe I should just wait this out till she gets over her boyfriend. Hopefully she finds a new one soon.

I have never experienced feeling loved as much as I love, and today, that’s exactly how i feel. I know my previous posts haven’t been the happiest but i would argue that insecurity is only natural, especially with a man like mr. machine. I guess it comes with his age, but he knows how to treat me. We’ve talked, and it’s strange that I realized I was just being paranoid. I guess the idea of a perfect man just seemed impossible to me. Naturally, I was suspicious of everything. How can a player like this be as absolutely committed as he seems. For the first time, I was wrong about my suspicions and gut feelings. All these years, I’ve been with liars and cheaters and like i said, it began to seem like the norm. Then he came along. I had become fairly used to the way men operate and i always took the negative view of the way things were progressing. I never would have expected that things would turn out like this. Out of the three men I was seeing at that time, he was the least that i thought i’d have the possibility of getting serious with.  Okay, we’ve been seeing each other almost everyday for the past 4 months. Maybe it’s too soon to tell. But I feel like I know him a great deal alread, and I know that he’s definitely someone i can get along with for the long haul. Maybe he SI too good to be true, but I want to bask in the feeling because it feels so damn good. This is the first time I’ve ever felt as loved as much as I love, not that i would love any less if that were not the case. Who knows how long this will last but right now, I just want to enjoy the moment and enjoy the feeling. If ever he does break my heart, I will still be grateful for him for giving me this chance to experience happiness as much and as whole as this.