Are you my Mr. E?

i only talk to mr. far away online.. i’m excited to go to work everyday so i can chat with him.. he’s a very witty guy and i’m enjoying the conversations i have with him.. i’m tempted to ask for his mobile number.. then again, if we start sms-ing, i’m scared that will loose the whole mystery and excitement of things.. i’ve already learned that absence makes the heart grow fonder.. i don’t want what happened with mr. perfect to happen with him.. i remember we went out everyday for a full month.. too much that he grew tired of it i guess.. i’m scared something like that will happen.. if we sms too much, he’df probably have a similar reaction and loose interest.. i also don’t want to run out of things to say to him.

 another thing that concerns me about mr. far away, is that he’s actually the ultimate love interest of one of my friends. Although i shouldn’t be feeling guilty because first, nothing ever happened between the two of them.. and second, someone else seems to be occupying her attention right now.. so i guess it’s not that big of an issue, i hope..

oh yes, and there’s also that “he looks like your ex” issue.. *sigh* oh well.. it’s just a crush :p

i don’t know why i’ve created a category on mr. far away already when nothing has happened yet.. okay, brief background.. i actually met him a year ago, but we’ve been no more than acquaintances. At first, i actually had a bit of a crush on him because he looked a lot like mr. x. but i got over that crush and we were the hi-hello type friends. After a while he had to move somewhere else to work. now all of a sudden, he IMs me out of nowhere. He’s actually quite fun to chat with, i enjoy the sense of humor he has.

somehow, i get the feeling that God is showing me, through mr. far away, the kinds of guys i’ve made myself unworthy of because of all the bad things i’m getting myself into..

i don’t know what’s going to happen.. should i even hope? nah.. i’ve been disappointed before.. and that hurts.. so why have i already created a category? i guess he’s going to be my object of wishful thinking from now on.. a guy i could have had.. if only i were a good girl.. could have, because even if he were to initiate something, i’d be too ashamed of myself to entertain him.. he’s the type of guy whom i could honestly say is too good for me.. not good as in goody goody.. but i wouldn’t help but feel i’m unworthy of him. the type of guy who can really make me say ‘what have i done with my life..’ *sigh*