Are you my Mr. E?

after my last post, I saw mr. grant again. We had dinner and chatted and yes, I ended up staying over. He’s a nice guy.. funny and interesting. But he’s probably not the type of guy that I would probably enjoy simply because I don’t know anything that I have that can be amusing to him. He can probably make me happy but I don’t think I can do the same thing for him. I’m not that interesting a person and well, there are a lot more women here that would probably suit him. He seems like the classy type. A classy woman would fit nicely with him. For some reason, I guess it is interesting to have someone to look forward to seeing everyday but to be honest, I think in the long run, I’d probably get sick of him and he, much more sooner, of me. 

Mr. experience is different. I probably think of him every single moment of the day. He’s wonderful. He has dreams and ambitions that he’s not afraid to follow. He has ideals that he seems not to want to compromise. He was definitely brought up well because his parents are just awesome. They remind me much of my own when I look at them. He’s begun pursuing his dreams and I’m just hoping the best for him. It’s funny though. I thought that being in almost the same timezone would make it easier for us to talk and stay in touch but I guess I was wrong. Since most of his work involves not being in front of a computer all the time, I barely get to catch him online these days. It’s making me miss him a whole lot. I guess the cool thing is everytime I do catch him online, I’m always really excited to talk. I wonder if I’ll ever get fed up of this arrangement. I really hope that if he settles down though, he’d give us a chance to see what we have going here. I love him so much but I don’t want to tell him because I don’t want to scare him away. I know if i do, he’ll probably back offf because i know he cares enough about me to not want to hurt me. He’ll probably just make it easier for me to forget my feelings about him since it’ll be a while till he’s settling down. I just wish, that someday we could actually be together. 

I hope when I’m reading back on this, I’d be smiling to myself and telling myself that I knew all along.

mr. experience is now in his new country, starting out his new life. We were supposed to talk before he left but his time didn’t allow it. He said that we could talk the when he got to vietnam, though that didn’t happen either. I guess this is the way it is going to be for the next few years.

Last night, I was at a party and the new guy was obviously into me. He seems like a decent guy too. I’ve had a crush on him since the first day he was toured around teh office as the new guy. He’s brit and I am a complete sucker for accents. Because I am still tired and sleepy– wait a minute, I’ll call him Mr. Grant, as in Mr. Hugh Grant. For some reason he reminds me a lot of him (you think it’s the accent?) Anyway, this guy is handsome. Not cute, but handsome. So handsome that there is not a moment that I see him in a social setting when girls aren’t fawning over him, dancing up on him, and last night was no exception.

We were in the same group that went to the after party. By the time we got there, everyone was already a bit high. And they weren’t that err.. shy about coming up to the Mr. Grant. Even the club dancers were up on him. amazing. British guys are lucky beasts i think. I seriously believe that it is the accent that gives them the edge.

Maybe it was because I was the only one who hasn’t been paying him much mind the whole time, we started chatting and he started asking me why i didn’t have a boyfriend. I told him i wasn’t looking. He told me i have no idea how attractive I am. That’s when I realized I’m not very good flattery.

So the night went on. As we got more and more intoxicated, he was talking closer and closer and holding me at the same time. And telling me that my hair smelled nice. He said that twice (is that a line?).

I had to excuse myself to go to the ladies room, then on my way back he was there and he asked me to wait for him. He went to the men’s room and when he got back, he suggested we go out. Next thing i knew, we were in a cab, kissing. (no it wasn’t alcoholic amnesia, i just cut to the chase). Of course, the rest is history. Two times: last night, and this morning.

What do i make of it? I don’t know. I don’t know how a guy’s mind works. What I think? I’m just another one of the weekend girls. I failed at that putting a price tag on myself test again. Sigh.

I guess you’re wondering wheter i feel guilty with Mr. Experience and all. The answer is yes. though he did say he would want me to find someone here, just not tell him about it. Now I’m realizing how dangerous that arrangement is. All I need is a decent guy really. I can choose to get along with someone.

why can’t life just be un complicated…